Let me tell you a little about myself. I'm am a girl in my 20's suffering from a wide variety of health issues including:
Severe Arthritis, Psoriasis, Costochondritis, depression, Anxiety, Polycystic Ovary Disease, Hypertension and more...

As of lately I've been in constant pain, and I've wanted to just vent about it, but I didn't want to bother or scare away all of my regular followers, so I started up this blog.

I plan to talk about my physical and mental issues that I deal with on a daily basis.

There may also be some nerdiness crap sprinkled in here as well since I'm a fan of video games, webcomics, anime junk and all things nerdy.



To Live On by Min Jeong Seo

“The stalks these flowers are already dried up but their blossoms are preserved and kept fresh by the medical infusion bags. The life-span of every living creature is limited.The infusion bags stand for the progress in medicine and the prolongation of human life.They somehow carry an ambivalent message as they refer to both death and life an the same time. Both states are immanent here. To preserve the beauty of the flowers artifically with the help of the infusion bags points out man’s inclination to repress the fact having to die and to postpone death.”

I hardly slept at all last night, I kept waking up due to the extreme pain in my spine and feet. I kept tossing and turning to try and get comfortable, but nothing helped…

Tomorrow’s my IV, I never imagined I’d be so happy to have a needle jammed in my arm for hours.



My feet are so swollen, my back is so sore…

I have 5 more days before my IV…

I wonder if they’re going to have to up my dose again…

what if this medicine stops working too?

what’s next?

I hope you feel better and I hope you get the treatment you need/deserve. 

Thank you dear! <3

About two more days to go before my next IV, I can’t wait!

My feet are so swollen, my back is so sore…

I have 5 more days before my IV…

I wonder if they’re going to have to up my dose again…

what if this medicine stops working too?

what’s next?

IV day today!

I went in for my Remicade infusion this morning!

I was anticipating it being a long day, but it went way more smooth this morning than it has in months!  I actually did not have any allergic reaction this time!  I though I felt it coming on a few times during the 4 hours, but it faded pretty quickly so I didn’t bother informing the nurse.

I also brought up my massive psoriasis flair-up, where they didn’t have an answer for me, but claimed this next infusion should help since they bumped up my dose last time. I’ve also discovered that the psoriasis is forming deep under my thumbnails…  :(  I guess it’s back to constantly painted nails…    

Also, I’m going to be going on a trip next week to attend a wedding, I still have no clue what to wear to cover up ALL my rough spots, but wish my luck on figuring it out!  Thank goodness I got my IV before the trip, I was already hurting quite a bit from all these surprise storms outside!  It would suck to be limping down the Vegas Strip!

swollen feet

So, the arthritis is kicking back in, my feet are both swollen up, but not so bad where I can’t walk on them yet… I can feel it in my back too…

The psorisis has spread in the form of little dots and patches all over my torso now as well…

One more week before my next IV…   :I

Things are looking a little up

I got my IV on monday and I have felt like 80x better than I had before!

I can now stand up without intense pain, and I can pick up my purse with little issue as well!

My skin is still a wreck though.

I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but I have sever psoriasis. it had started to go away but then came back with vengeance. my arms are still pretty clear, but my legs are covered with sores from my knees down, as well as my entire scalp. 

I’m really hoping this starts to clear up soon, I’ve got a trip to a water park, and I get so self conscious.  

I often wonder what would be worse, people thinking I’m weird for wearing leggings or something in a pool, or people thinking I’m diseased and possibly contagious (which I’m not, but people are ignorant)… or some kind of burn victim… I just don’t know…

Lets start this blog with a summary of my rough day!

Today was quite the day, I had to drive my dad to work so I could use his car (Mine broke down), then I had to go to work myself. My medicine had faded two weeks ago, so I’ve been hurting.

immediately following work, I drove to the doctors and got lost getting there. They decided to up my dose for my IV/infusion. When I got there, I was thrilled!  when you’re in this much pain you’ll gladly take a needle to the arm and sit for 4 hours.

My IV on the other hand did not last 4 hours. Apparently I am allergic to my medicine, this has happened 3 times now but we stick with it because it helps that much…  :( 

When I have an allergic reaction my heart beat shoots up and I become super flushed/hot, the first time my eye even swelled up! (they’ve pre-medicated me ever since, but I’m still getting reactions. When I get them, they have to stop my IV until I’m back to normal so that prolonged the process at the very least another hour… I feel bad for the nurse who had to sit with me, we joked that I was just trying to keep her on her toes!

As of right now, I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck, but at least its better than feeling like I’ve been hit by a train.

I hope that I’ll be able to confidently put my foot on the ground w/o anticipating pain. hopefully… 

(I apologize if this makes little sense, I’m really exhausted from all the benedril they pumped into me today…)