Let me tell you a little about myself. I'm am a girl in my 20's suffering from a wide variety of health issues including:
Severe Arthritis, Psoriasis, Costochondritis, depression, Anxiety, Polycystic Ovary Disease, Hypertension and more...

As of lately I've been in constant pain, and I've wanted to just vent about it, but I didn't want to bother or scare away all of my regular followers, so I started up this blog.

I plan to talk about my physical and mental issues that I deal with on a daily basis.

There may also be some nerdiness crap sprinkled in here as well since I'm a fan of video games, webcomics, anime junk and all things nerdy.

 

I’ve been getting some sun!

On Friday, I went to the beach with my very pregnant friend and her 2 kids. My friend and I have been best buds since the 3rd grade! She’s seen my ugly legs, so I had no problem sitting around in shorts with her. Her and I soaked in some rays while the kids splashed around in the lake, it was nice! Then on Sunday, my mom asked if I wanted to accompany her to the local festival in which I said yes.  She apparently wanted to focus on instants (like scratch offs) and I just stood by and watched… (I’m not much for gambling/luck games) I actually wore a sleeveless shirt and ended up getting a little burned even.

 I was hoping letting my skin get some sun that it’d help clear it up some…  my legs are looking a little better in general, but my arms keeps going down hill… they’re like covered with little spots all up and down both of them, it’s driving me crazy, and as it comes in, it just itches! Still waiting on customer commentary, I know it’s coming, it happens every time, someone soon will start asking if I’ve got poison ivy…

Well, My next infusion is on the 5th, so I’ll bring it up to the doctor then…

I want to wear shorts and cute dresses!

I get so envious of the girls who wear cute little sun dresses for no particular reason.

not that I can’t wear them, but I know I wouldn’t look near as nice in them as others do…  I could wear leggings, but it’s not the same… (and having to match them to the dress is a pain too…) 

I don’t even remember the last time I’ve casually worn a dress or shorts… Even when I went to Hawaii with my boyfriend to visit his mother/attend her wedding, I still wore pants and jackets for the majority of the visit.

With my psorisis coming back all over both of my arms, I’m waiting for the day when customers start commenting again…

It also has me concerned about my medicine. The remicade wore off like 3 weeks early last time, and my skin started getting bad again, then they bumped up my dosage and they said that should help everything… Well, I’m still mobile at the moment, but as I mentioned about, the psoriasis keeps getting worse, what if this medicine stops working too? where would I go from here?

Night out with friends

Every Tuesday my boyfriend and I get together with our good friends, who are married with two children and another on the way.  We usually just sit around, get some food and play either video games or bored games.

Well this tuesday, my friend didn’t tell me until we got there that her son has a high fever and is currently being checked for strep throat…   :(

That is the kind of thing I really wish she would have told me before we got together… With my IV’s, I have a weakened immune system, so I’m constantly a bit paranoid about getting sick.  Also, being so much as exposed to strep can cause my psoriasis to flare up everywhere.  It’s been fading a little on my legs, but it’s been showing up again on my arms that had been previously clear.

I wonder if he may have had strep or perhaps it’s flaring up due to stress about it? even still, I have that water park trip coming up, and I ordered a pair of leggings… I’ll try em out then decide if I’ll use them or not… 

Feeling I have to hide the symptoms of my illness to avoid the fear of being judged by others makes be both frustrated and sad. I really wonder some days what it would be like to be perfectly healthy.

Things are looking a little up

I got my IV on monday and I have felt like 80x better than I had before!

I can now stand up without intense pain, and I can pick up my purse with little issue as well!

My skin is still a wreck though.

I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but I have sever psoriasis. it had started to go away but then came back with vengeance. my arms are still pretty clear, but my legs are covered with sores from my knees down, as well as my entire scalp. 

I’m really hoping this starts to clear up soon, I’ve got a trip to a water park, and I get so self conscious.  

I often wonder what would be worse, people thinking I’m weird for wearing leggings or something in a pool, or people thinking I’m diseased and possibly contagious (which I’m not, but people are ignorant)… or some kind of burn victim… I just don’t know…